I Don't Need Another Stud

That wasn’t the reason my friend Linda called the other morning. But it was big news. She found her breeding stud dead in the field farthest from the house. She didn’t know what caused it. I kept pressing. “I have no idea,” she said. “This happened last week. I’m sure I’ll get the insurance money. Twenty-five thousand. I still have five good mares. I’ll just use the money for stud fees.” She has a habit of sounding tough and impatient.

That’s probably when she said, “At this advanced age, I don’t need another stud.”

I laughed. “ That's really funny when you take it out of context.”

“Well, I don’t need another stud whatever the goddam context.”

Neither Linda nor I had what you’d call a great marriage. We used to talk about our husbands a lot. We don’t any more. Being widows and in our eighties.

It is hard to get Linda off the phone. I think she could tell I wanted to wrap things up when she said, “Do you want to hear my take on the current political situation?” I wanted to say no. But I knew she was sad and angry about the unexplained death of her prized stallion.

“Go ahead, lay it on me,” I said.

“Well, getting rid of Joe Biden was a palace coup. A palace coup.” I could tell she liked hearing herself say, “palace coup.” There was a dramatic pause. “You know who was behind it?" A slight pause. “Obama. You know who Obama works for?” Her slight pauses always mean don’t even think of interrupting me. “The Chinese. So if Kamala gets elected, don't be surprised to see a Chinese flag flying at the White House.”

I interrupted. “Linda, don’t think you know where I stand on any of this, because you don’t. But I don’t want to end a nice conversation on a beautiful fall day talking about this shit.” She was okay with that. We wound down the conversation talking about someone we know and what a bitch his wife is.

I felt bad about that beautiful stallion lying dead in a hayfield. Cause unknown. I don’t think the Chinese had anything to do with it, but what do I know? I guess the birds had been at it pretty good. Not the coyotes yet. She might just leave it out there to get picked clean. I didn’t ask.