Nancy Harris Mclelland
Poetry, Prose, Opinions about Aging from an Ex-cowgirl Octogenarian.
Welcome to The GrrEighties
When I turned eighty on November 16, 2021, congratulations sometimes sounded like condolences. The obligatory, “You look great” out loud seemed to imply a whispered, for eighty.
Almost out of spite, I found myself replying, “I’m looking forward to my eighties. I think they’re going to be great! As a matter of fact, I’m calling them my Greaties!” However, my faux bravado was spoken through clenched teeth and came out “GrrEighties.”
As I shifted my attention to stories of interesting, productive eighty-somethings in the news and in my life, I decided to start this blog, Welcome to the GrrEighties! I’m posting quotes about aging and life from wise and witty octogenerians as well as pithy observations from my journals.
Welcome to 2026!
“I learn by going where I have to go” from “The Waking” by Theodore Roethke
I’m a sucker for self-help books. And time management books. In late summer of 2021 I was reading Four Thousand Weeks by British time management expert, Oliver Burkeman. The author urges readers to embrace their finitude rather than fighting the impossible goal of getting everything done.
Burkeman bases “finitude” on the premise that there are roughly four thousand weeks in an eighty-year life. I was reading his book in August. My eightieth birthday was in November. I did the math and figured I had about twelve weeks before my productive time was up.
When my eightieth birthday rolled around, some people were telling me I didn’t “look eighty.” Furthermore, I had no idea what it might mean to “act eighty.” At the same time Oliver's message seemed to be, “Well, you are eighty. You've outlived your expiration date.”
That’s the way it is for those of us who are eighty-somethings: mixed messages about our value, what we can or can’t do, what we should or shouldn’t do.
There’s some good news and some bad news. I’m not bothering with the bad news. Here is the good news. It’s out there! Good news about longevity, not just in years but in the quality of life. For the past four years I have curated a world of professional advice about a well-lived life on the other side of four thousand weeks. I want to share with you what I have learned. And those GrrEighties I’ve met on the way.
We learn as we go. We learn from one another. Okay, GrrEighties. It’s no time to say Whoa!
GrrEighties Gallery
Under Construction
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GrrEighties Booklist
On my bookshelf you will find a curated selection of books devoted to thriving in our eighties and beyond, cutting-edge research and practical guides that help us stay strong in body and sharp in mind. It’s all about aging with curiosity, confidence, and that key ingredient–humor. It’s about having conversations with the finest minds of our time.
Breaking the Age Code, How Your Beliefs About Aging Determine How Long & Well
You Live. Becca Levy, PhD. William Morrow, 2022
Levy treats aging as a process shaped by what we believe about growing older, both individually and as a society. Ageism is real and, like any other prejudice, it hurts. The heart of the book is Levy’s research showing that negative age stereotypes harm our health, memory, mobility, and even longevity. When we absorb these attitudes, our bodies respond accordingly. The idea that beliefs can add or subtract years from our lives is unsettling but can be empowering. She offers practical, hopeful ways to challenge ageism. It begins with our own self-talk. Levy reminds us that aging also brings strengths: emotional balance, perspective, resilience, and wisdom hard-won through experience. Breaking the Age Code doesn’t promise immortality, and it doesn’t deny the realities of physical change. It reframes aging as something we actively participate in shaping.
I would love to let her know about you GrrEighties!
Super Agers an Evidence-Based Approach to Longevity. Eric Topol, MD.
Simon & Schuster, 2025
Eric Topol’s book isn’t about magic pills or reversing aging like a sci-fi plot. It’s about living long with your mind and body still in the game — what scientists now call health span more than just lifespan. Topol argues that the common belief “genes are destiny” doesn’t hold up. In studies of people who aged well, genetics explained very little — but lifestyle matters a lot. Things like regular strength and resistance exercise, a Mediterranean-style whole-food diet, good sleep, and strong social connections do more for your future health than most screens and scans. The immune system is central — strong immunity helps fight off the big killers: heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and dementia.
Topol’s thoroughly documented research highlights how new tools — genomics, AI, biomarkers, and smarter drugs/vaccines — are changing medicine. These tools let us predict trouble decades before symptoms show and tailor prevention. But he’s clear: none of those replace disciplined lifestyle habits. And he warns that tech won’t help if the basics aren’t in place. In plain terms: you can’t buy your way into Super Ager status. You have to earn it with movement, food that’s real, solid sleep, community, and smart use of medicine.
My note: Super Agers, is a 330 page tome with 93 pages of notes. However, this is a book– and a concept– you should know about, even if you decide not to read it. In that case, or in addition, I highly recommend subscribing to Eric Topol’s substack, Ground Truths, erictopol.substack.com. Subscriptions are free, with the option to upgrade.
This article in the LA Times is a good introduction to his key ideas.
Super Agers - Amazon
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The Force of Character and the Lasting Life, James Hillman, Ballantine Books, 1999
From “A Preface for the Reader”: “...let us entertain the idea that character requires the additional years and that the long last of life is forced upon us neither by genes nor by conservational medicine nor by societal collusion. The last years confirm and fulfill character.”
James Hillman (1926-2011) was a psychologist, scholar, Jungian analyst and originator of post-Jungian “archetypal psychology.” Hillman’s central claim is blunt: character intensifies with age. People do not mellow by default. Strengths become more pronounced, and weaknesses more visible. What remains are patterns of thought, long-held loyalties, irritations, and fixations. Hillman refuses to treat these as failures or symptoms. Instead, he argues they are expressions of soul, deserving attention rather than correction.
“The Force of Character follows an enriching journey through the three stages of aging: lasting, the deepening that comes with longevity; leaving, the preparation for departure; and left, the special legacy we each bestow on our survivors.” (from the back cover copy).
My note: If ever there were an affirmation for the privilege of longevity, it is James Hillman’s view of aging as an art form.
Why We Remember, Unlocking Memory’s Power to Hold On To What Matters,
Charan Ranganath, PhD. Random House, 2024
I love this line from the Introduction: “So instead of asking “Why do we forget?’ we should really be asking, “Why do we remember?”
From the book’s back cover: “In Why We Remember, pioneering neuroscientist and psychologist Chaan Ranganath radically reframes the way we think about the everyday act of remembering…knowing how memory works can help us with daily remembering tasks, such as finding our keys, as well as with the challenge of memory loss as we age.”
With clarity, humility, and a refreshing lack of scolding, the author reminds that memory isn’t meant to be a perfect recording device, that forgetting can be normal. He explains that memory evolved to be useful, not accurate. This book reframes forgetting as a feature, not a failure. Memory prioritizes meaning, emotion, and relevance.
The affable scientist blends cutting edge research in neuroscience with everyday experience in a way that never feels condescending as he walks us through how the brain makes sense of a complicated world.
Counterclockwise, Ellen. J. Langer, PhD. Ballantine Books, 2009
Ellen Jane Langer (born March 25, 1947) is a professor of psychology at Harvard University. Known as the "mother of mindfulness," she has been a faculty member since 1977 and continues to lead research on mindfulness and the mind-body connection.
Dr. Langer defines mindfulness as paying active attention to the present, noticing differences, and resisting automatic, aging-based assumptions. It shows how labeling, social cues, and perceived control can influence memory, strength, hearing, and even wound healing.
Langer critiques the cultural scripts that tell us to slow down and accept decline. Instead, she urges experiments in everyday life: change context, challenge categories, test assumptions. Small shifts — taking responsibility, seeking choice, reframing tasks — can yield measurable benefits.
My note: In my opinion, there is no higher praise than this acknowledgement from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the author of Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience:
“ Ellen Langer has used her extensive research and scholarship to write a book that will be indispensable to anyone confronting illness or old age (in other words, to everyone). She shows that many seemingly unavoidable damages to our body can be reversed or ameliorated by the conscious application of the mind. The book can be used as a manual against despair, but more than that, it is a seminal work in what the author calls ‘the psychology of possibility’--a perspective on the unexplored riches of human nature.”
This YouTube interview is a good introduction to Dr. Langer’s affable personality and her concept of mindfulness . (Ignore the commercials)
Counterclockwise - Amazon
The Art of the Interesting, What We Miss in Our Pursuit of the Good Life and How to Cultivate It, Lorraine Besser, PhD. Balance, 2024
Philosopher and professor Lorraine Besser takes a fresh swing at what it means to live a good life. What’s missing, she argues, is “the interesting” — what psychologists call psychological richness. It’s the stuff that makes you feel mentally alive.
Interesting experiences — seeing something new, facing small challenges, noticing things you’d normally overlook — helps your mind stretch, reminds you that life has texture, and keeps you from slipping into the dull and repetitive.
Interesting experiences aren’t always pleasant. They can be confusing, challenging, even uncomfortable. What matters is that they shift your perspective. Novelty, complexity, surprise, and small risks keep the mind active. Routine deadens us; engagement sharpens us. You don’t need dramatic adventures — you need curiosity and a willingness to notice more.
You can cultivate the interesting at any age. You don’t have to overhaul your life. The interesting is often close at hand: new conversations, different books, unfamiliar neighborhoods, questions you’ve never bothered to ask. The key is attention. Besser’s practical point is blunt: if life feels flat, it may not be a lack of happiness or purpose — it may be a lack of mental stimulation. That is something you can change.
My note: You will find this book is a welcome reminder that curiosity and attention are free!
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What Matters Most, Living a More Considered Life. James Hollis, PhD. Gotham Books. 2010
James Hollis, renowned Jungian analyst, says in the preface, “this book asks each of us to consider more thoughtfully the relationship we have to ourselves…” Hollis notes, “If we fail to observe and engage in some form of cogent dialogue with the questions that emerge from our depths, then they and our ill-considered, provisional answers, will continue to operate autonomously and we will live an unconscious, unreflective, accidental life.
An important question, Hollis says, is to “ask yourself of every dilemma, every choice, every relationship, every commitment, or every failure to commit, ‘Does this choice diminish me, or enlarge me?’”
He insists that anxiety, disappointment, and loss are not detours — they are the path. Psychological pain signals that the life you’re living is misaligned with your deeper self. Avoiding discomfort keeps you shallow. Growth comes not from comfort but from wrestling honestly with what unsettles you.
Hollis stresses that maturity means accepting complexity — your contradictions, your shadow, your unfinished business — and carrying them consciously rather than pretending they aren’t there. It is humor, the author claims, that is “a way in which we honor the contradictions, acknowledge the discrepancies, suffer the reversals, and release the tension through laughter…”
My note: There are many quotable passages in this book. This is my favorite in these fear-ridden times: “The meaning of our life will be found precisely in our capacity to achieve as much of it as is possible beyond those bounds fear would set for us.”
